He speaks! ...But I've gotta shut up!

It's no secret that I am prone to anxious thoughts and I have struggled with how to handle them. I mean, is God trying to tell me something? Is Satan trying to cripple me? Or is it me/my own fleshly thoughts that hold me back?  For years I have struggled with this, not knowing what to do. So, I do it all...or sometimes nothing. I've learned that when I'm anxious, scripture is my remedy. But, let's face it.  Life has to happen!  I have to work and play and do laundry...I cannot have my nose in the Bible 24/7 (no matter how awesome that might be)!  I generally just continue wading through my thoughts: pleading with God, screaming at Satan and wearing myself out by trying to change each negative thought to a positive one every time it enters my mind (all the time wondering if that's what I am really supposed to do). It's exhausting!  ...not to mention unproductive.  Each time I'd try to be still and listen to what God was trying to say, I couldn't figure out if the thoughts racing through my head were Him speaking to me, Satan trying to confuse me, or me just continuing to think 90 mph. I caught myself praying for peace that I already received, and telling God that I was going to give a certain situation to Him that I had already laid at His feet. One day I was praying when He spoke clearly to my spirit and said "You've already given that to me. I'm handling it. Why do you keep picking it back up?"  Good question, God!  

Still, I kept stressing because even though I'd given it to Him, my feelings (ugh...I just hate those things sometimes) hadn't caught up with the reality that God's in control. So, I was caught back on that wheel of confusion: is it God? Is it Satan? Is it me? I was at my wit's end and completely worn out, trying to cover all my bases by praying, rebuking, and changing my thoughts. Finally, I said "God, what should I do?"  And then, by some miracle, I shut up. I listened and heard (no, not in an audible way...God put this in my head and gave me a certain peace about it) that it was my flesh trying to tell me to do something when God wasn't calling me to do anything. My flesh was keeping me in a tizzy when God was calling for me to act in such a way that was evidence of the peace He had already given me. Now, of course God wasn't telling me not to pray at all, but he was telling me that these thoughts I'm having are NOT because He put them there. Are the thoughts gone?  Nope, but I know how to handle them, I know that I'm in right standing with God about the situation and that I need to renew my mind and transform my thoughts, but not act (not always easy for a fixer, but at least I know that I'm on the path God wants for me). I've learned that not every negative thought I have is because Satan put it there. Often it's my own flesh that gets the best of me. Most of all, I've learned that when you ask God a question, in order to get the answer you've gotta SHUT UP!