Fight or Flight

We all have a need to belong. A fear, if you will, of not being accepted, of not being loved, of not having worth, of not 'mattering' to anyone. But is this what drives us to befriend people? To accept their faults and hope that they will in turn accept ours? Why are some relationships so easy while others require much more work--and what makes us work for those relationships while letting others fall by the wayside?
I understand that we have different types of friends and that people in our lives have different seasons and different purposes, but isn't it strange that without thinking we deem some relationships to be worth fighting for and others not?

You gotta fight...

So, of course there is Carla. She is my best friend in the entire world and has been for all of my life. She is worth fighting for. Throughout our life together, it's not always been easy to be my friend (shocking, I know) and she has lived Matthew 18:22 because this girl has forgiven me on a regular basis since we were infants! She lead me (and by lead I mean nagged me) to the greatest relationship of my life and I will be grateful to her for eternity (literally)!

Brad and I have several friends that we are unable to see or even talk to on a regular basis, but that are still very close friends of ours. It's so neat when we get together with them because we can still talk freely and openly and have a fantastic time. Neither party gets upset with the other for not 'keeping in touch', we just pick up right where the relationship left off and move on. These relationships we have deemed to be worth fighting for because we continue to try to see one another and keep up with one another as often as possible (though to be honest its often through blog updates and facebook).

Then there are some of the friends that we see or speak to currently. Many of them are 'worth fighting for' because we work through disagreements and overlook wrongdoings (or apologize for our own shortcomings, as is often the case). Others are friends of convenience or necessity. That's okay, too!

The neat thing about technology is that we are able to maintain relationships with people who would have moved to a different category! We are able to have friends that we never see or speak to, but that we maintain friendships with via social networking sites. Some of these are pretty strong relationships--perhaps because they are the least demanding. Strange, isn't it?

It's so hard to say goodbye to...

There are friends that, because of life changes or distance or simply growth in different directions, we no longer really speak to. This is okay since they were good friends for a season, but it's often difficult to look back and not even know why or when the separation began. I feel like these are friendships that could be resurrected if the opportunity ever arose because the friendly feelings are still alive.

Thnks 4 the mmrs...

This is a sad category: a group of friends of the past whose relationships have been decided (be it conciously or through circumstance) to be unnecessary. Boy, that's a harsh word--but isn't it a harsh truth? We don't need to keep all of the friends from our past. It's okay to move on or move away from a person or group of people. Sometimes these relationships were unhealthy, sometimes they just weren't worth it, or sometimes it's just not feasible to maintain the relationship.

Certainly if you are reading this blog, you're not in this category and I'm thankful for that! But, I understand that there are many people in this group and I am thankful for what they provided my life for the time they were in it and what I learned as a result.