Resolution, Shmesolution

I've never been one for resolutions. I'm like a personal rebel: whatever I tell myself I should/shouldn't do, I want to do the exact opposite. I always joke that if I tell myself I could never have a brussels sprout for the rest of my life, that is exactly what I would want on a daily basis. So, rather than devising a specific resolution that I will certainly not stick with, I decided to just be the best 'me' that I can be. (Of course, the opposite of that would be the worst 'me' I can be...so hopefully my track record will not carry over to this)! Now, the question of how I do this arises. How do I become what God wants for me to be?

Lately there has been something on my heart. The seed has been placed by several of my friends who have no problem speaking aloud as advocates for themselves and others. The problem is that I live under such enormous condemnation anytime I say something that I believe has offended someone or has been taken the wrong way. I experience anxiety when conversations get tense or when life isn't as smooth as I'd prefer. But, the truth is that sometimes it's necessary to speak up. Sometimes it's appropriate to (with love in your heart and voice) stand for what is right. I have no issue advocating for my students...I guess because they cannot do so for themselves (just try saying the r-word around me. As an aside, check out http://www.r-word.org/), but it is very difficult for me to advocate for myself or for people other than my kids. All of this came to me as I was looking for my sister's e-mail address on her Facebook info page [sorry, Katie...I didn't know it :-) ] and saw a quote that was one of her favorites. I may be wrong, but I believe she has it on her fridge, so I know that I have seen it before but it really spoke to me this time.

Stand before the people you fear and speak your mind -- even if your voice shakes. ~Maggie Kuhn

This is me: my voice will shake, my hands will twitch, my face will redden, my eyes will tear, my heart will pound...but my thoughts will be heard. At least, I hope...